Monday, April 28, 2008

It's a Numbers Game

The crab fleet is hard at work and so far, it's not going too well, at least for Captain Phil. Cornelia M's caught fewer crab than Captain Phil's drunk Red Bulls. (Phil drank 56 Red Bulls in 5 days.)

It's okay, though! "It's a numbers game." Nobody says that when things are going well.

"How'd your job interview go?"
"Great! I got the job, and more money than I asked for."
"Well, you know - it's a numbers game."

"So Ish, you have a date for the prom?"
"Yeah, actually I have a date with twin bikini models. Who are also neurosurgeons."
"Well, don't worry - it's a numbers game."

This is the point in the season when Things Get Serious. The crews are working their asses off. The greenhorns are starting to realize that this crab fishing is some hard-ass work, not some well-paying Outward Bound adventure. The captains are getting very uptight, because this is when they need to catch crab. No crab, no money. This is also when the deck bosses shine.

See, the captains are being hard-asses - especially Sig. Sig's driving the crew hard, all night and all day. He needs to keep track of the numbers of crab, and the crew is messing up the count. So Sig is NOT happy. The crew is near exhaustion, and Sig is acting like a 4 year-old who just had his juice box taken away. Enter deck boss Edgar Hansen.

Here's why I love Edgar Hansen. These guys are working 24 hours straight, risking life and limb, trying to make a bunch of money in a few months. If they don't find crab, they don't have money to put food on their families. Thus, tension. Tempers can run high. Captains can lose their shit.

In the midst of all this, Edgar Hansen sees the image of Jesus in the rust on a winch on the Northwestern's deck.
















Northwestern Deck Boss Edgar Hansen


The Greenhorns on the Wizard are getting tested - one is making it (Lynn), one isn't (Moi). Moi
's a little older, probably a little too experienced in life to be a humble hand on a crab boat. He knows that compared to any other job, this job is H-A-R-D. Moi wants to do well (bless his heart), but he may not be ready for life on a crab boat. (Probably should have been tipped off when he negotiated the title of "Vice President of Chum.")

Another way the crab crews relieve tension? The pranks. World-class pranks.

Captain Johnathan had said he wanted a new truck, so the nice fellas on the Cornelia M. help Johnathan out - they put a rusted truck body on his boat.

Time Bandit returns the favor by attaching it to one of Phil's buoys - he gets a surprise trying to pull up that pot. Captain Phil is suitably impressed; game recognizes game. Phil dumps the car in the Bering Sea. (ERA on line 1 for you, Phil.)

Of course, you're not gonna catch a pickup truck on every trip. But hey! Don't worry - it's a numbers game.



3 Comments:

At 2:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

what happened?! your blog revival was going so well. Come on Ish!

 
At 3:01 PM, Blogger Ish said...

It's pretty simple, really. I've been busy with (a) a fairly demanding day job on one hand and (b) trying to keep my stand-up "career" moving forward on the other. It hasn't left a lot of time for blogging.

The occasional compliments and exhortations of an anonymous reader, while welcome and appreciated, haven't been enough to prod me to do it.

In other words, it's your fault.

Hey-hey! I kid!

 
At 12:13 PM, Anonymous fanofIsh said...

Do you do stuff like this? http://www.koshercomedy.com/

It looks great.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home