I auditioned for the Las Vegas comedy festival yesterday. They are watching several hundred comedians in order to pick about 30, so the odds aren't that great. Better still, I traveled about an hour to do a three minute set, at 12 noon, in front of a bunch of other comedians who I am competing with. Hi, welcome to the open audition!

Actually, I wasn't bad. I had a pretty good set. It's hard to tell-- who knows what they're looking for. And I think they can see through the fact that it's noon, and the audience isn't exactly warm. I'll find out in a couple of weeks. If I get it, I'll announce it. If I don't, well....

I've got a few shows coming up, and this is a tough time of year to try to get people to come to shows. The week before Thanksgiving people are either bracing for visitors or planning to travel, so they stay home in droves. The holiday weekend itself, not that many people around. And now, this in between period, people have holiday parties, relatives visiting and shopping to do. Plus, the weather can be foul, which can have a major impact on whether or not you get an audience.

Does it sound like I'm bracing to do a few shows for empty chairs? Yeah, I guess I am. But I will still bring the funny. Oh yes I will. Those chairs will go home thinking, "man, that show was awesome. I just wish we weren't inanimate objects!" The curtains will be like, "dude, that one thing you said about cell phones? That totally sounds like a friend of mine. That cracked me up!"

I think my material plays really well with furnishings.

I'm doing a show for some high school holiday party. I'm really gonna try to understand these kids, gonna try to get in their world. So tomorrow I'm going to get a tongue bolt and a tattoo.

I asked my sister what kind of tattoo I should get. You know, what could I get that would say, hey, this is who I am, this is what I'm about.

She thought about it for a minute and then said, "maybe you should get a tattoo of hair. On your head."

Ah, family!