Tuesday, January 24, 2006

The Stretch, Part Two

It happened again.

You may recall that a few months ago, a couple of my comedy colleagues got big breaks-- one won a contest, and another got paid work from a prestigious club. Now it has happened again.

Another one of my comrades in arms got a really good paid gig. And good for him. I like him, I'm glad he got it. And yet...jealous, table for one.

I have also finally seen a comedian at early stages about whom I would say, "yes, he's going to be a star. He's going to be big." This guy is young, just starting out, but man! He's already very, very good. I've seen more seasoned vets look at him and just shake their heads. It's exciting, but at the same time, discouraging. You work hard to get good, and then you see it come so effortlessly to someone else. It's inspiring, but it can be hard.

And my friend got a paid gig that I want. And you know what? I'm good enough to get it. I know that. But it's hard - no-- it's impossible not to let at least a little jealousy seep in.

I understand a few things. For one, these things wouldn't bother me if I didn't want to be good and I didn't have the desire to succeed. For another, I know that this type of thing happens to everyone, and it happens at all stops along the way. Who knows? A year from now I could be whining because one of my friends got Premium Blend and I didn't.

I also realize that each time I have a breakthrough, there will be someone who feels the same way about me. Happy for me, sure, but envious too.

It's also a reminder that I can't take anything for granted-- I need to use everything I have to be successful. I don't want to wonder, "what if I had pushed myself?"

12 Comments:

At 9:43 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

geez, man. you are as silly as your girlfriend. what's with all of this adult jealousy??

no wonder you two are together. you can spend your evenings drinking wine and scratching out the eyes of the high school homecoming king and queen.

 
At 10:15 AM, Blogger Ish said...

Since you are anonymous, I'll just call you Geez.

Geez, I don't know what world you live in, but in the one where I live, jealousy is a basic human emotion that doesn't end with the onset of adulthood. I want to recognize it, deal with it honestly and maturely, and move on.

Because I believe:
denying it = suppressing it = not being true to yourself.

And I don't want to live that way.

And really, Geez, thanks for taking the time to leave an anonymous, petty, insulting comment.

It's nice to know you care.

 
At 11:30 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

chet lemon was not jealous of ron leflore. but i agree w/ ish. most peeps get jealous. and leave his g friend out of it.

 
At 11:54 AM, Blogger Ish said...

I always appreciate it when Mark Fidrych stops by to leave me an anonymous comment.

 
At 11:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe you're just not funny?

 
At 12:29 PM, Blogger Ish said...

Mmm... that's not it, but good thought, good thought.

 
At 10:39 AM, Anonymous Kirin said...

It actually occurred to me too that you and K had jealousy themes on your blogs at the same time. I don't think it really means anything though - just an annoying coincidence. who is Mark Fidrych?

 
At 11:29 AM, Blogger Ish said...

Kirin,

Why annoying?

 
At 11:44 AM, Blogger k said...

i wonder why it's annoying, too.

i mean, is it annoying that you (we) feel jealousy at all? or that we admit to it? or that we happened to admit to it at about the same time?

whatever the case, i'm sorry you feel the need to continue to post disapproving remarks here, kirin. Ish certainly seems to bother you.

 
At 2:17 PM, Anonymous Kirin said...

Ish:

It struck me as "annoying" somehow that you both had similarly themed blogs entries. Now I am sure it was NOT on purpose. But it struck me as annoying, as in when couples dress alike. Would I admit this is more my problem that yours? Yes.

AND K - for the record, I like Ish's blogs and almost always post postive comments on HIS blog - perhaps not always on yours. DO you really need to come to his defense for NO reason? relax.

 
At 5:38 AM, Blogger Changeseeker said...

I think it's interesting that the comments on both of your blogs, Ish, and K.'s blog, too, are so often incredibly personal. It's as though your readers feel intimately involved with the two of you. I think it's because you both make yourselves utterly vulnerable and people respond to that as if they were family members or something, as if they had a right to just say anything to you. It's a testament to your openness and approachability and the way readers relate to what you write. The down-side, of course, is that it can be painful. I read you both religiously, as you know, and wince when readers are unkind, but honestly believe that the only way to shut that down would be to become wooden and predictable and just like all the rest. I hope you can stay as real as you are without too much suffering.

And--for the record--I didn't hear jealousy in this post (though you used the word) as much as I heard a longing to be operating at the peak of your form and recognized for it. When you lose that longing, you will have left comedy behind and it doesn't sound as if that will be anytime soon. We are who we are. And at some point, the angst becomes part of the talent itself. It seems to me that an anguished self-consciousness is one of the core characteristics of many writers, commedians, artists, etc.

 
At 11:28 AM, Blogger Alice said...

*snort* ish, i love your replies to geez et al. calm and anti-inflammatory yet slightly condescending at the same time. that is a delightful ability :-)

 

Post a Comment

<< Home