Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Blog Dump

So it has come to this. I've become such a neglectful blogger that I have two blogs languishing, collecting dust. I suck at blogging.

I tend to get bound up at the thought of writing an entry-- I have to figure out what to write about, I have to write it, I have to decide which parts of it aren't so horrible that I shouldn't delete them. Then I have to obsess over what I need to add or change.

And then I worry about whether it's funny or not. Or more specifically, whether or not YOU will think its funny. That's right- you! Not me.

And it becomes so daunting that I do other things. Hence, my high degree of suck-tivity.

Well, I'll try not to let my fear of sucking get in the way.


I GET CAREER ADVICE ON THE BUS

So the other day, I got career advice from a man on the bus. We were the only ones on the bus, at about 10pm. Well, no, okay. There was the driver. But he seemed more like part of the bus, part of the mise-en-scene, if you will. (If you will allow me to use a french phrase, probably incorrectly.) And the driver couldn't very well participate in our discussion, since he was trying to minimize the number of pedestrians he hit. (That's a big initiative with MUNI right now- to cut down on the number of pedestrians they hit.)

Anyway, it was very enlightening. I will call him Dave, for no reason. Dave had two shoelaces - one in his shoe, the other holding a pair of broken glasses around his neck. I am guessing here, but based on his general jitteryness and tiny little pupils, he may have been have been experiencing the effects of methamphetamine. Though it could have been a french press pot of Peet's Coffee, since the effects are similar. But he only had about half his teeth, which is what nudged me over in to thinking yeah, probably the meth.

DAVE
Hey... you that Russian guy?

ME
What?

DAVE
You that Russian guy?

ME
No.

DAVE
You look like this Russian guy, lives over in Potrero Hill.

ME
Oh.

DAVE
What are you?

ME
What?

DAVE
Are you German or English or what?

ME
English, I guess.

(I tried to think: what answer is most likely to end this conversation? And the answer came back: none. Impossible. Nothing you can do.)

DAVE
A lotta Russians come here, and they get jobs as security guards.

ME
Really?

DAVE
Yeah. They don't hardly speak English, but they have friends, see? Help 'em study for the test. And they pass it.

ME
Ah.

DAVE
Some people come here, like Germans, they become electricians and stuff. It's good to have a trade, you know?

(BEAT)

You know?

ME
Huh?

DAVE
It's good to have a trade.

ME
Yeah.

DAVE
It's good. But some people, you know, they don't wanna work. They'd rather just run around in the streets.

Me
Yeah.

At this point I got off the bus. But smarter than when I got on, you know?

You know?

7 Comments:

At 2:59 PM, Anonymous kyahgirl said...

is it written into your contract with us that you have to be funny?

I don't get around here much but always enjoy what you write.

 
At 5:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Um, it's "mis en place". Mise en place (MEEZ ahn plahs) is a French term for having all your ingredients measured.

Also I don't think suckitivty is a word. But still a funny enrty.

 
At 6:45 PM, Blogger Ish said...

Thank you anon, I'm glad you thought it was funny.

I did mean mise en scene though. It's a reference term from cinema rather than the kitchen. But the concept is similar.

Wikipedia, do your thing:
The term stems from the theater where, in French, mise en scène means literally "putting into the scene" or "setting in scene." When applied to the cinema, then, mise en scène refers to everything that appears before the camera and its arrangement – sets, props, actors, costumes, and lighting. Mise en scène also includes the positioning and movement of actors on the set, which is called blocking.

 
At 7:18 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

OK smart guy, define "suck-tivity" ;)

 
At 8:47 AM, Blogger Ish said...

Again to Wikipedia, source of all things good:

The initial usage of the term "suck-tivity" is difficult to trace. Some cite as its origin the famous gathering of writers, critics and actors known as the Algonquin Round Table, which met at the Algonquin Hotel in the early part of the 20th century. For instance, one of Dorothy Parker's more famous quips was spoken to an actress: "don't look now dear, but your show sucks." But the use of "suck" with the suffix of -tivity may have originated with one of her Algonquin contemporaries, such as Robert Benchley or Edna Ferber. There has also been speculation that the term may have been coined by H.L. Mencken.

 
At 3:31 PM, Anonymous Whinger said...

It's actually a Grand Office Hobby among my co-workers to see who can get the most fake terms into Wikipedia. So far all of their additions have been taken down, but the dream lives on.

 
At 5:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wouldn't everyone rather run around in the streets, when it comes right down to it? If only there was some money in it.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home