The Ongoing Search for My Comedic Personality

A big part of what makes a comedian successful is finding and knowing yourself. I read somewhere that Jerry Seinfeld didn't really know his comedic personality until he'd been in the business for 6 years.

So far, not that much of my personality has made it into my material. There are bits here and there, but I am clearly not there yet. I'm still taking baby steps, and I am envious of my colleagues/classmates who seem to be more adept/willing to reveal themselves onstage.

Another transition that people sometimes talk about is going from talking about what you think other people will find funny to what YOU find funny, and then from what you find funny to just what you care about. (That is, there may be things you find funny, and they might kill, but you abandon them because you don't really care about them.)

Where am I? I am still working with what other people find funny. Why? I love the applause, and I fear bombing. In that I am probably like a lot of other comedians. (Right? Just me? Okay.)

Why do I not work more with what I find funny, and what I care about? Again, fear-- of bombing, of not being accepted, of exposing my vulnerabilities and flaws. But I know, at least intellectually, that that is where comedy really takes off. Eventually, I will take a deep breath and make the plunge.